


Find my way back

by notpmaHleM



Category: The Musketeers
Genre: F/M, The rest of the Musketeers will be mentioned along the way.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-07-21 15:28:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7393084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notpmaHleM/pseuds/notpmaHleM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season 3 Annamis moments. Will post what episodes on the chapter. Just short drabbles. Nothing naughty yet. Spoilers for season 3.</p>
<p>**UPDATE** Last chapter is a little naughty.. I don't think quite EXPLICIT but, maybe NSFW, at least mature..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To chase your heart

**Author's Note:**

> Missing moments from 3x05

**"She's mine"**

Hours have passed since the incident in the gardens. Hours since a madman had taken her at the point of a pistol. Hours since she had feared for the Dauphin's life, her own life. Hours since the Musketeers had found her. Hours since Aramis had once again saved her life, throwing himself around her, putting himself between her and a musket ball. Hours since he was once again injured for her. Hours since she was once again under his bulk, making her feel safe, making her once again feel what it was to want, to need. Hours since he had spoken those words out loud "She's mine."

It was a ruse, except she knew it wasn't. She had tried so hard to put him behind her. Years spent burying any feelings, any emotion, any love for him. She had made herself be brief, curt with him since he got back. Distance from him would be the key.

And yet, as soon as she heard him speak behind her _safe_ was all she could think. He was here, she would be safe. She would see her son again, they would all be safe.

And underneath him, laying on the hard ground she had a flashback. One that would do neither him or her any favors. One of his weight on her for a different reason. Of her nails in his back, his calloused fingers digging into her thigh. Of moans and whispered endearments in Spanish. Of gasping his name.

So she had forgotten her promise to herself as he rolled off of her, helped her sit up and she seen the blood on his face.

"Aramis." She had whispered reaching out to touch it before she could stop herself. And he had caught her hand, squeezing it gently before pulling it away from his cheek.

"You'll get blood on yourself, Majesty."

His eyes were confused. They were asking _what do you want from me?_

She turned away for moment to pull out a kerchief, a moment to school her features. She wanted to scream that she didn't know. She didn't know what she wanted from him, or didn't want to admit what she wanted. She could never admit it. What she felt could get him killed. Both of them killed. It almost had once before. She turned back, the Queen of France and handed the piece of lace to him, to put over the mark that was sure to scar his handsome face.

It had been hours since Louis had ordered Aramis away from her, hours since he stormed out in a fit. Hours since the Musketeers, since _he_ had left.

Hours since _She's mine_. Hours of her thoughts churning through her mind. And minutes since she finally admitted to herself that he did indeed own her heart.


	2. One step closer, closer to the light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3x06
> 
> Expanding on THAT Annamis line (keep slaying me with feels Aramis, please)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a hard time with who's POV to use. Might do a shorter one with Anne's also.. Maybe..

**_You're not alone_ **

He may not be the wisest man but Aramis knew it was going to be trouble when the King requested him for his "pilgrimage". But there was no way to refuse. So Aramis gave himself one long look at the Queen and set off with the King.

He had planned on denying it all, he had to protect the Queen, the dauphin, but at some point he had to break. And there it was, all out in the open, letting Louis know that **he** had a part in what happened. This fault would not be placed on Anne. It actually felt good to get it off his chest, the things he had wanted to say about the King's treatment of the Queen. Because she deserved better.

And of course the immediate result which was the promise of hanging. Aramis really thought it was finally going to happen. He would die for loving the Queen. And then was the brief relief, quickly followed by the actual pain of the King's threat of him never seeing the dauphin, the Queen. Knowing his son was being raised by another man. Would never know him, let alone as a father. It was sticking your finger in a half healed wound and tearing it open again.

Yet here he was waiting for the Queen, per her request. Because he would never not do what she asked of him.

He could see the relief on her face as she came towards him. She was actually worried about him and it made his heart skip a beat. Yet, he needed to be the abrupt one, keep everything on track.

"He knows."

And his heart broke seeing her fear of never seeing her son again. _Our son_ the voice in his head reminded him. So he told her what he thought would be comforting words. But of course the King hadn't revealed his illness to her and when the surprise hit, the shock, the truth causing her already fragile world to come crashing down, he was there to catch her.

With his arm around her, Aramis wanted nothing more then to haul her up against him, to hold her, to comfort her. But he knew the Queen was strong, she just needed a reminder.

"You cannot afford weakness now. You're a Spanish Queen in a French Court, you're enemies will plot against you. Prepare for it. You must be equal to their challenge, for the sake of your son, for France."

The look on her face as she realized the truth in what he was saying didn't make him feel better for it. So he gave her what he could afford to, for both their sakes. Taking her hand, squeezing it, kissing it.

"You're not alone" he could voice. He hoped she could read the _I am here, always_ on his face, in his eyes.

And because he knew he was a weakness for her, he forced himself away. She had to gather her courage, not fall apart in his arms like he very much wanted to let her do. He knew she would gather her strength to make her stand just as he knew he would support her until the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS- Can we talk about how Aramis has NO chill when it comes to giving Anne the stare. Everyone is right there Aramis! You are not be sneaky about this (please don't ever change, you two kill it with those looks)
> 
> PPS- I LOVED what he told Louis. If Louis hasn't said to the Cardinal 'it would be better if she was dead' then they wouldn't have ended up in the convent, her lonely, him vulnerable. And yes I know the Milday thing came after, but I'm totally okay with him throwing that in there. In 'Through A Looking Glass, Darkly" that pissed him off. He told the other 3 in the beginning. I think that was the episode I said, oh shit, he's really in love with her. They are actually going to go that route.
> 
> PPS- sorry to word vomit my feelings in the notes.


	3. And everything we used to know crashed into the great unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3x07 Fool's Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It didn't really give us any Annamis moments like the last two episodes so I'll wing this :)
> 
> Hopefully this isn't broken up so its hard to follow. All mistakes are mine.

_**I spent a night with Aramis** _

She was trying. Queen Anne knew what was at stake. The safety of her son, France, everything. And the King was being a fool. Gaston could not be trusted. Why was that so hard for him to see?

So she thought long and hard about the best approach for Regent. How to talk to him, convince him but he wouldn't **listen**. And then, finally, when he made another comment about lies, she tried the one approach she had avoided, since it was no longer a secret.

"I spent a night with Aramis." She began, she the Queen of France while Anne inside her reminded her _And I fell in love with Aramis_

"He is the father of our boy, by blood. But by blood alone." She knew she had to make her point before she lost Louis on this, but part of her wanted to scream _And I sometimes I wish it was different. I wish he could see his son, raise his son. But that son is also my son, the future King of France so I have been selfish with Aramis. And he has done his very best to let me be selfish with him. He lets me take from him, gives me love when I cannot give it all back to him._

"Everything he known and learnt and loved has come from you." _And you love him, thank the Lord you love our boy. Because even if we can't have Aramis, the dauphin is loved. And I am the Queen of France and not allowed to love as I want, to choose what I want, but my son is loved and will be a great King and that is what is important._

"I cannot forgive you, Anne. I will never be able to forgive you."

"I do not expect your forgiveness." _Because I love him still and I think about that night often, a memory I will never let go and as a result of that night **we** have a son._

"We cannot change what has happened. But we can change how it was written. Name me as Regent and I swear to spend my life keeping your memory alive for him. I will write a history worthy of you and your son." _Because that is what is important, our son is important and I learned long ago everything else must be buried._

"You ask too much." 

She could say nothing else to him. She knew she couldn't have what her heart desired but she would make sure her son had his rightful place on the throne.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Do you have children of your own?"

His heart clenched at her question. _I have a son that I cannot recognize. That I have to watch from afar and will never get to be a part of his life. He'll never know me and how much I love him or his mother._ He shook his head not trusting his voice. 

"A shame. You'd have made a good father."

"In another life perhaps."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My rambling of thoughts
> 
> Queen Anne is tough as nails. She's spent four years with a husband who has not been nice to her and now is dying. And know he knows the dauphin is not his biological son. But she's going to make damn sure her boy is the next King of France. She's pretty much always known her duty and everything else has to be pushed to the background, but she's making sure if it now. Tough woman.
> 
> Heart broken over that last convo with Aramis and Juliette. He's also really damn good at pushing everything aside and continuing on.
> 
> And I do think Anne loves Louis but not in the way she LOVES Aramis. She's also realistic about her life.


	4. Don't give up on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3x08 Prisoners Of War
> 
> (I'm just borrowing your characters, BBC & Dumas. I'll take good care of them, I promise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story & chapter titles from Eric Arjes "Find My Way Back"
> 
> All mistakes are mine

**Please Aramis. One more time.**

The Queen of France had a mission she needed accomplished. The other part of her, the part that was just Anne whispered furiously that she was being selfish. That she was using him. The sensible side would argue he was the best man for the job. He spoke Spanish, he was charming when he needed to be, ruthless when he should. He was intelligent, trustworthy and able to protect himself. While the woman in love countered, it's because you know he won't refuse you. 

Still, the Queen had to win. This was no time for affairs of the heart. The King was dying, France at war and somebody had to stop it. So she asked and he gave. Meeting her in secret, keeping it away from the other 3 and Treville. Until he warned her it was too dangerous, that they should be enlisting help. 

"Please, Aramis. One more time."

And so he did. He did as she asked as she knew he would. Not because he was a musketeer, though as a good soldier he would, but because she asked him to.

When she was confronted by Treville, when he had told her with anger "You may have just cost Aramis his life." it had taken everything in her to not collapse at the words. Only years of training and pose kept her from breaking down as she realized she may have just sent this man, the man she was not supposed to love, to his death. And all because she asked him to, because he would not tell her no.

When word had come from the Garrison that all four had returned safe, she allowed herself a moment of privacy, to cover to face to keep from crying in relief, to give thanks that he was back home with his brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's up later then I hoped and shorter. I'm hoping the next two will be up soon, since I'm moping and pouting The Musketeers is officially done. I've got most of the last chapter drafted it, just need to get to cracking on The Prize


	5. There's nothing that I wouldn't do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Prize 3x09

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure why I'm always in Anne's POV. Originally I was going to swap back and forth *shrugs*
> 
> *insert character disclaimer here*

_**"Always"** _

The bells were announcing the King's death. Letting all of Paris know changes would be happening. In a flurry of moments Minister Treville had taken her son and been named Regent and now Gaston was here, in the Palace. In her home.

She wanted to hide. She wanted to curl up with her son and let the France sort itself out. But she couldn't, she wouldn't, so she wore her mourning clothes, paid her respects, and prayed for the strength for the fight she knew was yet to come.

So here she was kneeling beside the body of her husband, listening to the chatter around her, hearing footsteps come up behind her and stop. She closed her eyes and stayed where she was until

"Your Majesty. I'm so sorry."

His voice washed over her, making her feel better, steady, secure. _Safe._ She turned, once again struck by his presence, letting him take her hand and help her down. He kept a hold of it and though it was not proper, she was grateful. She needed that support, the feeling of his skin on hers. She squeezed gently.

"I thought you were Gaston. The brief time he is here I don't want to set eyes on him."

He leaned in close to her, into her personal space and she welcomed it, that and the way his eyes settled on her. "He is in the Dauphin's quarters. Treville's plan has worked. Gaston believes-"

She caught the way he paused. Paused to be careful with his words.

"your son has been taken out of Paris to safety."

She knew Aramis would tell her "Where is he truly?"

She seen it the moment she spoke the words. The confusion on his face, the recognition that he had also been left in the dark. The worry.

"Please tell me you know?" But she knew now he didn't, he couldn't hide the concern.

"I.... I, don't."

"Of course, they haven't told you either." _Damn Treville,_ she thought to herself _damn him for taking my son, our son and not telling either of us where he is._ "Treville took him the very moment the King died."

He leaned back in and she knew his face was a reflection of her own "Who's with him?"

She felt her heart break a bit more. "I'd hoped it was **you**." She _had_ hoped it was him, with every fiber of her being. She knew Aramis would have kept him safe. Aramis would lay down his life, though she hoped it would never come to that, and keep their son alive. Aramis, who she could trust, who she could always depend on. "I'm so frightened for him."

She wasn't sure what else she would have said to him, what he would have said to her. She could feel protocol disappearing rapidly when fast approaching footsteps interrupted. They each took a step back from each other, she let go of his hand as Gaston appeared around the corner. 

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

She felt unease when the men came through the doors of the church. And felt icy fear when the man hit Constance, taking the Dauphin. The fear grabbed her, suffocating her as she turned and ran to the stairs, her only thought to get to her son.

The sound of a fight reached her before they were in her sight and she stopped suddenly as she could see the Dauphin race to safety as Aramis grappled with someone on the floor. Then he was up again fighting another, He bested the man, knocking him out, turning, pistol up but the other man had already fled. She could taste her relief. _Aramis was here._

He turned, visibly upset, to Constance "More men will be coming. You should never have brought him here." He was striding towards them angrily, not knowing she was there until she called out. 

"I commanded her to." She couldn't stop the shaking in her voice as he looked up at her in surprise.

"Do you realize how close we were to losing him?" She could hear the displeasure in his voice, see the sternness in his walk. 

"I'm sorry." She was at a loss of what to say and tears threatened to overrun her as the realization of the last few minutes caught up to her. And it terrified her.

But he stopped in front of her with a big exhale of breath. She could seem the anger dissipate from him. Seeing him calming automatically made her feel calmer. 

"I might have done the same." He confessed and she was able to look up, look him in the eye. 

His added "We were lucky." made her heart hitch with hope.

"I know you are watching over us."

"Always. I hope." 

And just like that one of the broken pieces inside her settled back into place. She had tried pushing him away and he persistently stayed . He kept risking his life for theirs. And she could finally admit it to herself, he would keep doing that for her, for them. He would give everything for nothing in return. 

And she realized he wasn't talking about the dangers of being a Musketeer, but of what she would allow.

So she gave him what she could right then. "I hope so too. Truly, Aramis." And meant it. She couldn't publicly love this man, but selfishly always wanted him to stay.

And when he picked up her hand, kissed her knuckles with the words " Go. We will protect you." She went, with the reassurance and belief her Musketeer would always keep them safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite their scenes in this episode being freaking gold (his longing to go check on her just kills me) this one was a bit difficult for me to write. I think everything is happening SO fast and plus, let's be real, I rewatch it to write this and am always traumatized by Treville at the end. I just couldn't pull off the headspace for it.
> 
> One more to go fluffy and hopefully sexy on its way.


	6. No Matter Where We're Going, I'll Be By Your Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Season 3-
> 
> There is some much needed talking- and sex.
> 
> I don't own any of the characters- just borrowing them (sorry BBC and Dumas, this story is done but I'm not ready to give them back YET)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in my mind this takes place after the cut scene from the script where Queen Anne sees Aramis at the council meeting (damn them for cutting that. It would have been GLORIOUS) and before she POUNCES on him in the garden in front of the world to see. He totally was not expecting her to do that. I. LOVE. IT. She looks like a woman who knows exactly how that man can make her feel. You go GET him Anne!

_**"I've got you."** _

Queen Anne was on a mission. One that she was not going to fail. Almost everyone in the palace was settled in for the night. She had dismissed her guards, sent off her ladies in waiting and was tiptoeing discreetly towards her destination. Candlelight flickered and danced on the walls showing her the way.

Her palms were a bit damp, heart racing when she made it, when she stood outside the heavy door. The anticipation of what she was going to do was a heady thing. And he was on the other side of that door unaware that she stood there, of what she had planned. She raised her hand and knocked.

When he opened the door the thoughts that entered her mind would have horrified any of her gentle ladies. It was a raw desire for the man standing there with a surprised look on his face. 

"Majesty." Aramis gave a curt little bow, his eyes never leaving her face as she greedily took in the sight of him in front of her. She knew he had recently come back from the garrison, he'd gone to help with the rebuilding after his Minister duties had been concluded for the day. She'd been watching for him and he was still in his uniform pants, braces hanging down and his white shirt open. She licked her suddenly dry lips and she caught his sharp intake of breath. He's been running his hands through his hair and it was gloriously wild, practically begging her to put her hands in it.

"Won't you invite me in?" She didn't actually wait for an answer, sliding past him, catching the scent of gunpowder, leather and **him** making her a little weak in the knees.

She heard the click of the door behind her and turning, felt some of her boldness leave her. She stared at the floor for a moment and seeing his bare feet gave her some delight. It was so _normal_. Then she remembered once running her toes up his bare calves, digging her feet into the back of his thighs and she shivered.

"You're cold." 

Of course he'd notice that. This man missed nothing she did. She raised her chin and took a step closer to him watching his reaction. His eyes darkened.

"I'm not." She took another step in, watched his eyes narrow a bit, his face still deliberately blank. She reached out slowly as if he'd spook out from under her touch and put her hand on his side, taking a fistful of shirt.

"Aramis" her voice was a bit breathy as she took another step, now well into his personal space.

"I'm not expecting this." His voice was low and rough and his hands moved around in the air as he struggled to find a place to put them. "It's not why I took this position."

"Of course you're not, gallant Aramis." This step put her in contact with him, chest to chest. She could feel the heat from his body through the thin barriers of their clothing. Her skin felt every rasp from the fabric with the movement of their breathing and she desperately wanted to feel the heat of his skin against hers. Sliding over each other. "I am aware that I have kept you pushed away since you have been back." She looked at him, waiting for him to make eye contact "For my sanity, I needed to. I was fighting a battle of suspicion with the King, one I knew would be lost very easily with you around. But Aramis, I have missed you so very much. I've hoped you felt the same?"

She looked up at him from under her lashes knowing that intense look on his face, feeling thrilled that she once again put it there. It was hunger, need and love all wrapped up into one. And then his hand was on the small of her back, the other sliding up her neck to bury in her hair. 

And yet he waited for her as she knew he would. This man who never took from her, only gave, always waited patiently for her next move. It filled her heart up so much she wasn't sure how it could hold so much love without bursting.

Keeping a firm hold in his shirt, she decided to put them both out of their misery and cupped the back of his neck, rolling up on her toes as she pulled him down into her reach.

Kissing Aramis was even better than she remembered. It made her burn with wanting him, filled her chest with the warmth of love, made her skin sing with the feeling of him against it. With every stroke of his tongue along hers, every movement of their lips together it healed her broken edges, erased the years until she was once again a young woman feeling the thrill of passion for the first time. She could feel his want, his desperation and she matched him giving him reassurance, love and her own want and need. Finally the lack of oxygen pulled them apart and she leaned against him while her chest heaved and her pulse raced.

Then she stepped back with his eyes dark and flashing as they watched her, she shrugged her robe off, letting it pool at her feet. His fists clenched and nostrils flared in response. It was a heady feeling, being able to see how he was affected by her and it made her feel more bold.

She reached out to tug at his shirt. "Off." She meant it to be a flirting command but instead it was a breathy request. His hand covered hers and froze just long enough Anne wondered if he was going to refuse. But instead he gave her a gentle squeeze and in one swift movement has the garment over his head and dropped on the floor.

When he made an advance in her direction she took a step back and held a hand to stop him. He did and she reached up, sliding a shoulder free of the night-rail, almost squirming under the fervor of his gaze. She took another step back purposely putting herself closer to his bed. Her hand fell to the other shoulder, pausing before pushing the last of the material away.

The noise he made was more of a growl as he advanced on her. She lifted her chin, fully aware that seven years ago she was slimmer, younger, sans stretch marks but held her ground. His large hands grasp her at the hips, fingers digging in, thumbs brushing over skin lightly. "I didn't think you could get anymore beautiful." He pulled her flush up against his bare chest and the sensation of skin on skin had her making a whimpering noise. "I was wrong." He whispered dropping his head back down to kiss her as he walked her backwards, hand still flat on her back keeping her pressed against him until the back of her knees hit the bed. And then he stopped, pulling his head back enough to look down at her.

"I will not be changing my mind, if that is why you are hesitating." She reassured as she wrapped her arms around him, slightly turning and then leaned toppling them both to the bed. She couldn't stop the smile as he twisted them to keep from landing with all his weight on her and she was fully aware he let himself be pulled off balance. 

Then she busied her hands, reacquainting herself with the body she had once explored until the short hours just before dawn that night so long ago. And like before he let her do what she wanted, let her touch him where she wanted, his own hands, rough and calloused feeling so wonderful against her softer skin.

Somehow she ended up on top of him, legs straddling his narrow hips as he sat up against the headboard, his hands cupping her breasts. "I think-" she pulled her mouth away from his for a moment "that these needs to be removed." She untangled a hand from his glorious curls, to reach down and hook a finger in the waistband of his trousers.

"You're rather demanding." He teased as he nipped at her collarbone, thumbs moving in a steady circle.

"Impatient." She let out an undignified squeal as he scooped her up and dropped her next to him so he could get back off the bed.

She propped herself up on her elbows so she could watch him finish undressing. She was unapologetically wanton as her gaze took him in. He sported a few more scars, but still had the hard male body of a soldier and it made her breath catch, remembering what that body had done to hers, how it had made her forget everything that night. How it haunted her every night after. He noticed her watching him and curved his lips up in response. 

"Do I meet your approval then?"

She gave an unladylike snort "Am I supposed to be shy? We have done this before."

He advanced slowly back towards her, the bed dipping with his weight as he kneeled at the bottom of it, taking her ankles in rough hands. "I remember that, clearly, in detail." She shivered in response.

He scooted forward a bit more, skimming his hands up her calves, a dark predatory look in his eyes. "I have never been able to get the taste of you out of my mouth. "He murmured against her knee. "I wake up craving you."

She was already out of breath and his words combined with a nip to her skin elicited a groan from her. He slid his hands down her thighs, spreading her wide. She panted. With a feral grin he drop a shoulder, using it to prop her leg open and dropped his mouth down to her center. Daydreaming of when he'd done this before was no match for him doing it now. He'd thrown an arm over her, holding her hips down but she couldn't stop herself from trying to arch up into him. She had a white knuckled grip on a pillow, the other hand using his hair as an anchor as noises she didn't know she could make spilled from her. He was skilled, a master at unraveling her and she could feel herself winding tighter and tighter until, with an extra crook of fingers, a hint of teeth, she snapped, sobbing out his name.

When she finally came back down, regained solidity, Anne opened her eyes to see Aramis still between her thighs, watching her with a half smile but his eyes dark and flashing.

"Tan suave" He nuzzled the inside of her leg, thumbs rubbing circles and she felt her heart speed back up at his touch, his words. "Yo podría hacer esto una y otra vez . Usted es una adicción, mi reina, mi amor" His voice was low and rough and it sent the ember inside her back into flames, wanting.

"Ven aqui, por favor." It was not a Queen's command but a lover's plea

He pressed a kiss to the inside of her leg before moving, sliding over her easily, the sensation of his hard body against her sweat slicked one made her skin tingle again. He made her _feel_ so much. She knew she was grinning as he settled over her, giving her a smug grin as she tangled her fingers into his hair. She pulled on him, feeling him settle his weight carefully onto her while she kept his mouth busy with hers. Greedy little nips, long, slow, wet kisses until her ribcage was heaving again and he closed his eyes, forehead resting against hers.

"Aramis?" 

Then he hesitated. "The last time we did this-"

Their son.

She wrapped her legs around his, preventing him from moving off of her. "I... I took precautions." She felt her cheeks heat under his gaze and barely resisted the urge to turn her head. "I know we can't-" her breath hitched, the heartache of knowing they couldn't have any children, she'd never get to see him holding a curly haired baby, threatening to overwhelm her- "I talked to Constance. I've taken-" she shook her head slightly- "It's safe."

He dropped his head to kiss her slowly, one that told of the sadness of what they couldn't have combined with the joy and happiness of what they did have. She let her hands roam, dragging down him, hoping to soothe their wounds as well as excite. And his hands moved with purpose, once again pulling needy noises of want from her.

"So you will not be stopping now." She gave a quick tug to his curls, a nip to his bottom lip and he rocked against her in reflex. She felt down his shoulders, dragging her nails down his back as she hooked her leg over his hip and whimpered with want. He held onto that thigh, bracing himself on his other elbow and slipped inside her with a groan. They were both breathing raggedly as the sensation of being joined together again overwhelmed.

She could feel him trembling as she hung on to shoulders. The power in the muscles not unleashed. He was shaking in effort to keep himself under control, she knew and she didn't want that. She wanted him to lose control with her, give himself over to her just as she would with him. His hair was hanging wildly around them as she surged up to give him a needy kiss. Then she bit his bottom lip, sharply, causing him to groan and open his eyes. 

"Don't hold back, please Aramis."

He made another noise and dropped his forehead to hers "You deserve-"

"I want **you** Aramis."

His eyes looked almost black when he looked down at her and she could see the control slipping on his face. "Please." She tugged on his hair and rolled her hips, blood surging at his growl, her victory smile interrupted by him dropping his lips to hers in a hard, dirty, wet kiss as he snapped his hips forward. And then he proceeded to lose his well practiced control, sliding a hand underneath her, changing the angle and she let out a loud cry as he hit something inside her that caused her vision to blur.

He dropped his head to her neck, placing open mouth kisses on the underneath of her jaw while he moved at a steady pace. He whispered in Spanish, his voice low and rough. Terms of endearment mixed with things, dirty things that in daylight hours would make her blush. But it was not daylight now and the words, his voice adding fuel to an already blazing fire as she clung to him, nails digging into scarred shoulders as he efficiently wiped any thought out of her mind except the sensations he was causing. She couldn't hold back the noises she was making as he took over, her body, her mind, her soul. He broke down every barrier she had built in the last 4 years until the pleasure overtook her and she shattered with a cry of his name. 

She heard him cry out with his release, his fingers holding onto her tightly until he slumped onto her, bodies sticking together as his weight pressed her down. And when he let go of her, she wrapped him up in her arms, feeling his breath on her neck.

"Next time will be slower." He nuzzled her jaw, kissed her neck and she purred in response. 

"Next time." Her voice rough but she was thrilled. _Next time_. "Although I do not think I'll make a complaint about _this_ time." She smiled when he looked up at her, his eyes sparkling. She tilted her chin up and he obliged her with a kiss, slow and sweet.

He rolled with a groan and not willing to break contact she moved with him knowing already that she would fit against him perfectly. She settled in under his arm, using his shoulder as a pillow and rubbed her finger over the perfect set of teeth marks she'd left in his flesh. She couldn't stop the smile when he caught her fingers, kissing the tips of them softly.

"I'm so glad you are here." She could hear his heart beating, a steady rhythm.

"Well, this is my room."

She pinched along his ribs and giggled when he squirmed against her. "I'm serious Aramis." She propped herself up enough she was sprawled across his chest and able to look him in the eye. "I'm very happy you did not tell me no. I hoped you wouldn't, I partially expected you to."

She watched him as he reached up to tangle his fingers in her hair, wrapping a tendril around his finger. Then, quietly. "When I have ever been able to tell you no?" A small smile.

"When you left to a monastery for four years."

His hand froze and she felt him tense beneath her. She closed her eyes and inwardly berated herself for saying that after she has promised herself she would not. 

"Majesty-"

She cut him off with a finger over his lips. "Don't call me that in here with you, like this. Please" she slid her fingers down under they rested on his neck, feeling his pulse. Then she shook her head. "I'm sorry I said that."

He stroked his fingers along the back of her neck. "Ana." Softly, testing the sound out. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I promised myself I would not bring that up. Bring up the past."

He offered another smile and threaded his fingers back into the blond tresses. "There are a few moments of the past that are always in my thoughts." Then he turned serious. "We haven't spoke of it. We should." He tugged slightly "Ana, if you want this to progress, be more then just this night, we should." He tipped his head at her. "I'm sorry, I'm assuming-"

"Aramis." She drummed her fingers on his chest, interrupting him. "You are correct to assume. I would not be here and especially not in your bed, without any clothing, post coitus-" she paused at his big smile, the one that never failed to make her smile in return "if I did not want more with you. So I will be honest with you. I was hurt when you left. I found out from Constance. I had no right to be hurt. I had begged you to leave. And then I resented that, you, when you did. And I was hurt you had slept with Marguerite, something else I was in no position to be jealous of. You were not mine. Are not mine." She corrected herself.

He shook his head slowly. "Aren't I though?" He blew out a breath, squeezed lightly at the flesh under his fingers. "When I was found guilty of treason and thrown into the Bastille I made a deal. With God. I would give everything up for your life. And then you were safe and I had to keep my promise. What I did almost got you killed, Constance killed. It did get Marguerite killed."

She put her hand on his face, making sure she could look him in the eye, so he was forced to look into her's. "What _we_ did Aramis. You always take on all of the responsibility, but it was both of us that night. I went to _you_. A night I _still_ don't regret. I won't ever. And Marguerite is to blame on Rochefort, not you."

"I used her."

"And you should not have. But that is all you are guilty of."

He sighed, eyes flickering to the ceiling before settling back on her face "I hurt you."

She blew out a breath, shifted on his chest, tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "And I have hurt you. I have been selfish with you Aramis. You give and I take and you receive nothing in return."

"You have given me this." He smiled at her and brushed his finger over a dimple. Then his face turned serious again. "I didn't know how to stay when so many others lost because of us. I didn't know how to stay and keep my distance from you or the dauphin. I had to go and try."

"Just as I had to try and distance myself from what I feel for you. And I'm sorry I did that."

"You don't need to-"

"I do. I want you to know, if I could live an ordinary life, one of choice not duty, my choice is always you Aramis. I will _always_ choose loving you." She felt her eyes fill with tears and blinked rapidly. "But my life was and still partially is duty. But if you stay, I can promise you that behind these doors I will chose you and love you as long as you will let me. But that is all I can give you. And I am afraid it is not enough."

She lost the battle of keeping the tears at bay when he cupped her cheek, wiping the traitorous tears with his thumb. "It is. I am here."

"I am so very glad you are. Truly Aramis." She took his right hand and fiddled with the Minister ring he was wearing. "It would break my heart if you were to leave again. But I would understand if you did. If you wanted a normal life." She looked back into his eyes. The eyes that could stop her in her tracks at 20 paces. The ones that right now were filled with love.

"I don't even know what normal is. I want to be here with you. I promise I will always be here to be your Musketeer, your Minister and anything else you ask of me." He rubbed his thumb on her cheek again.

"Anything?" She pulled off the ring and he watched with a raised eyebrow. She gave him a dimpled smile and pulled his left hand from her face. His eyes went wide as he guessed her intentions and she felt his exhale when she slid the ring back on his left hand, specifically his left ring finger. She brushed her fingers lightly over the crinkles around his eyes from his smile. 

He wrapped an arm around her and rolled them over, reversing their position. Then he cupped her face gently, leaning in until their noses brushed. "Don't ever forget, I've got you."

She laughed, a little exhale of breath and put her hand on his neck, just under his ear. "So you have."

And then she pulled him down and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first chapter I actually wrote- minus all the talked :) also never actually posted anything quite like it for someone to read. And I've gone over and over how I thought their conversation would go. For now, we are just getting it out of the way enough for them to enjoy being TOGETHER.
> 
> Side note- I actually looked up 17th century birth control and nada. Now I REFUSE to believe they are not banging like bunnies behind closed doors. And if they show can make us think Constance can choose to still be sexing up her hot hubby and not have kids, then I'm going to pretend also.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> I've been writing a modern AU also- which is why this took me so long- once I get it finished I'll start posting. It'll be too long for a WIP posting.


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